You may know how much I enjoy Toddlers & Tiaras, and the new season already has a promising start. Here are some favorites from the past couple of weeks:
From episode 1, "Precious Moments," here's "Dolla Make Me Holla" Alana. Can't imagine how that way of thinking can go wrong. Like having a "special juice" that give you the energy to dance and makes you "laughy."
Her father's dialog had to be captioned too. I think Extreme Couponer Mom has provided my favorite quote of the season so far: "If someone wanted to come up to me and had an opinion to say about my daughter, I'm gonna nut the hell up." Wait, you mean any opinion? What if it's a good one? You have put her in a pageant in front of a panel of judges. Who will be giving their opinions. Never mind, "Nut the hell up" is too good not to use in conversation.
In last night's "Lollipops and Gumdrops" episode, there was a lot more going on than the Return of Mackenzie that everyone was looking forward to. There was the family from the town of Dubberly, Louisiana, for example. Anything named "Dubberly" has to be awesome.
This family, with two pageant girls, has a "pageant trailer." Since it's enclosed I was never able to confirm whether it's for hauling equipment or the daughters themselves.
There was contestant Hailey, who has perhaps the best pageant coach ever, drag queen Shangela, also her godfather.
Coach/godfather Shangela advised Hailey to push her candy cart "like a homeless woman in New York." I haven't been to New York City, but the homeless women there must be much sassier than I'd imagined.
Finally, a pageant judge tells us how we'll know when we've really made it big:
Stay fierce, everyone, and go enjoy some Pixy Stix the size of a small car.